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The good news is, that it is possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently with or are about to become involved with being a domestic abusiver It is simply a matter of having the knowledge of the warning signs to look out for and being sufficiently aware to notice them (which includes not being to blinded by love, lust or desperation! Below are a list of behaviours, traits and beliefs which are common in abusive personalities.
These are commonly known as Warning Signs of abusive personalities .
He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you.
Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you.Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behaviour or attitude toward him/her.He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect.
If we can recognise the warning signs of a domestic abuser, or someone who is likely to have an abusive personality, we can save ourselves (and our loved ones) a lot of grief and heartache.