Older black women dating white men
There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a preference: everyone has them, regardless of race, and for many – arguably most – Caucasian men, that’s all it is.As with a lot of very charged issues like this, it can be tough to overcome the paranoia, but black women shouldn’t discount dating out based on the acts of a few (something we could all do with considering in regards to most situations, honestly). One of the first things she told me was how attractive she finds black men. In fact, although she complimented my biceps, she made no direct comment on my looks — unless you consider a compliment about “black men” in general a direct compliment to each one of us. This season on Hilary Duff’s Kelsey is in a lust triangle with a white political podcaster and a colleague who happens to be a man of color, and the interracial romance between the characters played by Allison Williams and Daniel Kaluuya was the crux of last year’s Oscar-nominated smash . She had absolutely no ulterior motive and no shot with me. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men.However, once their curiosity is satisfied, their long-term behavior is probably less likely to be racially motivated.In other words, once they “go black,” they’re probably more inclined to go back.Men are driven primarily by physical attraction when choosing a partner, while with women, other factors can play just as vital a role.That might be why women are less likely than men to stick to a physical “type.” What my friend said made a lot of sense, but even if I was inclined to concur, I knew that it didn’t make women any more likely to be “color blind” than men.
Contrary to what many white people who find black people more attractive than white people might think, some black people don’t really care. Not only did she love black men, but she could pull in the cream of the chocolate crop, one who had barely aged. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, but I didn’t think he was any reason to show off to a complete stranger either. She could take that as “Yeah, he’s hot” if she wanted to. By then she’d moved on to new business: the nights she made out with girls.
According to US Census data from 2013, statistics showed that interracial marriages (that is, marriages involving white people and anyone who identified as a non-white race) made up 6.3% of all marriages in America. The hard figures may seem small or even bleak, but we shouldn’t forget that it was only 49 years ago this June that interracial marriage was even made legal.
It’s easy to feel like it was a long time ago, but almost any black woman in her thirties could ask her mother about growing up in a time where racial politics were so different that the idea of marrying a white man was not only uncommon but outright prohibited.
So what are your experiences with dating white men?
Have you faced any hardships in your relationships with someone outside of your race that you think reflect outdated or disingenuous views?
(“Color blind,” by the way, is a pretty meaningless mental trait that actually applies to no-one.)I knew the woman I was talking to probably never would have been having this conversation with a white person.