Paralyzing fear of dating christiandatingworld com
You make decisions based on one frame of mind and then you have this epiphany about yourself and you realize the decisions you made during the previous frame of mind are all messed up. It feels good to be needed and wanted but that’s the trickery of dating too soon after divorce. There are people I enjoy spending time with but I feel paralyzed when it comes to moving forward in any capacity, and I’m realizing it’s unfair to put myself out there if I don’t feel capable of a healthy relationship.
You’ve got to deal with all the crap that caused your marriage to end first. Maybe you’re being pressured by friends and family to start dating.
They were exposed to the idea that life isn’t so great no matter what path you choose, so you might as well stick to the path that you’re on.
This cynical way of thinking can pervade and poison everything in life, rendering people jaded and negative even as very young adults.
A common example of fear of change is when a person stays in an unfulfilling romantic relationship because they are terrified of being single, or of the effort and risk involved in trying to find a different partner.
People often coast along in unfulfilling relationships, even marrying a person about whom they feel ambivalent, just because they are so scared at the prospect of breaking up.
This is how you end up feeling like you’re not being true to yourself, which is a deeply uncomfortable feeling.
Before Amal Alamuddin came out of nowhere and kidnapped George Clooney’s heart, I, along with the rest of the world, heard talk of how he’d never get married again. The water is warm, so it’s not like I feel nervous about dating after an 11-year hiatus.
If, like me, you’re in possession of an embarrassingly massive amount of useless celeb facts, you’re aware that Clooney’s dramatic anti-marriage declarations once even prompted Nicole Kidman and Michelle Pfeiffer to each bet him ,000 that he’d get married for a second time by the age of 40. After winning the bet at 40, Clooney returned the money and went double-or-nothing that he would be unmarried and have no children on his 50th birthday. I like alcohol and good conversation as much as the next person so I don’t feel disoriented about the actual process of dating.
Don’t date because someone tells you to or because you’re lonely or you feel like this is your one last chance at love. Figure out who you are and what you’re really looking for instead of knee-jerk dating in response to fear and loneliness. If notorious serial dater George Clooney can change his mind about marriage, then maybe I eventually can too.
You’re only setting yourself up for another failed relationship.